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Lies Our Mind Tells Us

I don’t remember why I am here

I don’t even know what’s the reason to stay

they can make this loneliness feel real

if it makes them happy it’s okay to feel this way

 

Changing myself to fit a place in their heart

right where we all want to be hurt

 

And to them I always smile as caught in lies

not to be questioned I lower my eyes

shouting “drinks on me” just so their vitality revives

 

Even if I’m not fine, I don’t seem to have a reason

it’s light transparent pain, surrounding and filling me

until their words make it a prison

saying being like the rest should be my aim

but using them to define me is always a losing game

if I try to let go they come so close I can smell the lie

“together we’re stronger but alone I’m just smoke like

and if I run away to look for some freedom

I would only have myself to blame

 

When I say my passion is what keeps me alive

they laugh at the only time I spoke without fright

people, Marcus Goldman saved my life

while you moved me aside to party all night

 

I’m sorry I can’t come, too many bruises under my shirt

we have everything in common, except leaving them would hurt

 

And I imagine reaching them with these words but they denying

it would upset them because I swallowed up every cry

making myself go on the rooftop to be high

 

Until I left them behind, I couldn’t reach the moon

why do I miss when seeing her together they didn’t let me fly?

their happiness was going to kill me anytime soon

if on the border I asked them for a way to live after

I know nothing they could say would matter

because apparently you can’t shine if you’re shy

but I wanted so bad to be part of the sky

don’t stars realise how giving light to the night is a boon?

Even in a constellation I would be the farthest ever

 

It’s a strange answer, how the stars

avoid me from thinking

my only therapy, in the dark

from the darkest of my mind

 

Until I left them behind, I didn’t know that pain was a spark

the world can be better, if someone’s light doesn’t make others’ die

to prove myself I was not a ghost on my body I put those marks

it only made sense the day I wanted to write them a letter

but I wrote it to me instead so it would last forever

everything changed like in a flap of a butterfly

I don’t have to belong to any galaxy in which identify

now my light became what shines in the deepest dark

looking up it will lead them to a good way to say goodbye

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